230.英文正文(230)
thenalmostwithoutapausehewrotebeneathit:
butthentherecameasortofcheck。***hismind,asthoughshyingawayfromsomething,seemedunabletoconcentrate。heknewthatheknewwhatcamenext,butforthemomenthecouldnotrecallit。whenhedidrecallit,itwasonlybyconsciouslyreasoningoutwhatitmustbe:itdidnotcomeofitsownaccord。hewrote:
heacceptedeverything。thepastwasalterable。thepastneverhadbeenaltered。oceaniawasatwarwitheastasia。oceaniahadalwaysbeenatwarwitheastasia。jones,aaronson,andrutherfordwereguiltyofthecrimestheywerechargedwith。hehadneverseenthephotographthatdisprovedtheirguilt。ithadneverexisted,hehadinventedit。herememberedrememberingcontrarythings,butthosewerefalsememories,productsofself-deception。howeasyitallwas!onlysurrender,andeverythingelsefollowed。itwaslikeswimmingagainstacurrentthatsweptyoubackwardshoweverhardyoustruggled,andthensuddenlydecidingtoturnroundandgowiththecurrentinsteadofopposingit。nothinghadchangedexceptyourownattitude:thepredestinedthinghappenedinanycase。hehardlyknewwhyhehadeverrebelled。everythingwaseasy,except!
anythingcouldbetrue。theso-calledlawsofnaturewerenonsense。thelawofgravitywasnonsense。“ifiwished,”o’brienhadsaid,“icouldfloatoffthisfloorlikeasoapbubble。”winstonworkeditout。“ifhethinkshefloatsoffthefloor,andifisimultaneouslythinkiseehimdoit,thenthethinghappens。”suddenly,likealumpofsubmergedwreckagebreakingthesurfaceofwater,thethoughtburstintohismind:“itdoesn’treallyhappen。weimagineit。itishallucination。”hepushedthethoughtunderinstantly。thefallacywasobvious。itpresupposedthatsomewhereorother,outsideoneself,therewasa“real”worldwhere“real”thingshappened。buthowcouldtherebesuchaworld?whatknowledgehaveweofanything,savethroughourownminds?allhappeningsareinthemind。whateverhappensinallminds,trulyhappens。