206.英文正文(206)
“howmanyfingers,winston?”
“four。isupposetherearefour。iwouldseefiveificould。iamtryingtoseefive。”
“whichdoyouwish:topersuademethatyouseefive,orreallytoseethem?”
“reallytoseethem。”
“again,”saido’brien。
perhapstheneedlewaseighty—ninety。winstoncouldnotintermittentlyrememberwhythepainwashappening。behindhisscrewed-upeyelidsaforestoffingersseemedtobemovinginasortofdance,weavinginandout,disappearingbehindoneanotherandreappearingagain。hewastryingtocountthem,hecouldnotrememberwhy。heknewonlythatitwasimpossibletocountthem,andthatthiswassomehowduetothemysteriousidentitybetweenfiveandfour。thepaindieddownagain。whenheopenedhiseyesitwastofindthathewasstillseeingthesamething。innumerablefingers,likemovingtrees,werestillstreamingpastineitherdirection,crossingandrecrossing。heshuthiseyesagain。
“howmanyfingersamiholdingup,winston?”
“idon’tknow。idon’tknow。youwillkillmeifyoudothatagain。four,five,six—inallhonestyidon’tknow。”
“better,”saido’brien。
aneedleslidintowinston’sarm。almostinthesameinstantablissful,healingwarmthspreadallthroughhisbody。thepainwasalreadyhalf-forgotten。heopenedhiseyesandlookedupgratefullyato’brien。atsightoftheheavy,linedface,souglyandsointelligent,hisheartseemedtoturnover。ifhecouldhavemovedhewouldhavestretchedoutahandandlaiditono'brienarm。hehadneverlovedhimsodeeplyasatthismoment,andnotmerelybecausehehadstoppedthepain。theoldfeeling,thatitbottomitdidnotmatterwhethero’brienwasafriendoranenemy,hadcomeback。o’brienwasapersonwhocouldbetalkedto。perhapsonedidnotwanttobelovedsomuchastobeunderstood。o’brienhadtorturedhimtotheedgeoflunacy,andinalittlewhile,itwascertain,hewouldsendhimtohisdeath。itmadenodifference。insomesensethatwentdeeperthanfriendship,theywereintimates:somewhereorother,althoughtheactualwordsmightneverbespoken,therewasaplacewheretheycouldmeetandtalk。o’brienwaslookingdownathimwithanexpressionwhichsuggestedthatthesamethoughtmightbeinhisownmind。whenhespokeitwasinaneasy,conversationaltone。