203.英文正文(203)
againthefeelingofhelplessnessdescendeduponwinston。***hiseyesflittedtowardsthedial。henotonlydidnotknowwhether“yes”or“no”wastheanswerthatwouldsavehimfrompain;hedidnotevenknowwhichanswerhebelievedtobethetrueone。
o’briensmiledfaintly。“youarenometaphysician,winston,”hesaid。“untilthismomentyouhadneverconsideredwhatismeantbyexistence。iwillputitmoreprecisely。doesthepastexistconcretely,inspace?istheresomewhereorotheraplace,aworldofsolidobjects,wherethepastisstillhappening?”
“no。”
“thenwheredoesthepastexist,ifatall?”
“inrecords。itiswrittendown。”
“inrecords。and—?”
“inthemind。inhumanmemories。”
“inmemory。verywell,then。we,theparty,controlallrecords,andwecontrolallmemories。thenwecontrolthepast,dowenot?”
“buthowcanyoustoppeoplerememberingthings?”criedwinstonagainmomentarilyforgettingthedial。“itisinvoluntary。itisoutsideoneself。howcanyoucontrolmemory?youhavenotcontrolledmine!”
o’brien’smannergrewsternagain。helaidhishandonthedial。
“onthecontrary,”hesaid,“youhavenotcontrolledit。thatiswhathasbroughtyouhere。youareherebecauseyouhavefailedinhumility,inself-discipline。youwouldnotmaketheactofsubmissionwhichisthepriceofsanity。youpreferredtobealunatic,aminorityofone。onlythedisciplinedmindcanseereality,winston。youbelievethatrealityissomethingobjective,external,existinginitsownright。youalsobelievethatthenatureofrealityisself-evident。whenyoudeludeyourselfintothinkingthatyouseesomething,youassumethateveryoneelseseesthesamethingasyou。butitellyou,winston,thatrealityisnotexternal。realityexistsinthehumanmind,andnowhereelse。notintheindividualmind,whichcanmakemistakes,andinanycasesoonperishes:onlyinthemindoftheparty,whichiscollectiveandimmortal。whateverthepartyholdstobethetruth,istruth。itisimpossibletoseerealityexceptbylookingthroughtheeyesoftheparty。thatisthefactthatyouhavegottorelearn,winston。itneedsanactofself-destruction,aneffortofthewill。youmusthumbleyourselfbeforeyoucanbecomesane。”