203.英文正文（203）

againthefeelingofhelplessnessdescendeduponwinston。***hiseyesflittedtowardsthedial。henotonlydidnotknowwhether“yes”or“no”wastheanswerthatwouldsavehimfrompain；hedidnotevenknowwhichanswerhebelievedtobethetrueone。

o’briensmiledfaintly。“youarenometaphysician，winston，”hesaid。“untilthismomentyouhadneverconsideredwhatismeantbyexistence。iwillputitmoreprecisely。doesthepastexistconcretely，inspace？istheresomewhereorotheraplace，aworldofsolidobjects，wherethepastisstillhappening？”

“no。”

“thenwheredoesthepastexist，ifatall？”

“inrecords。itiswrittendown。”

“inrecords。and—？”

“inthemind。inhumanmemories。”

“inmemory。verywell，then。we，theparty，controlallrecords，andwecontrolallmemories。thenwecontrolthepast，dowenot？”

“buthowcanyoustoppeoplerememberingthings？”criedwinstonagainmomentarilyforgettingthedial。“itisinvoluntary。itisoutsideoneself。howcanyoucontrolmemory？youhavenotcontrolledmine！”

o’brien’smannergrewsternagain。helaidhishandonthedial。

“onthecontrary，”hesaid，“youhavenotcontrolledit。thatiswhathasbroughtyouhere。youareherebecauseyouhavefailedinhumility，inself-discipline。youwouldnotmaketheactofsubmissionwhichisthepriceofsanity。youpreferredtobealunatic，aminorityofone。onlythedisciplinedmindcanseereality，winston。youbelievethatrealityissomethingobjective，external，existinginitsownright。youalsobelievethatthenatureofrealityisself-evident。whenyoudeludeyourselfintothinkingthatyouseesomething，youassumethateveryoneelseseesthesamethingasyou。butitellyou，winston，thatrealityisnotexternal。realityexistsinthehumanmind，andnowhereelse。notintheindividualmind，whichcanmakemistakes，andinanycasesoonperishes：onlyinthemindoftheparty，whichiscollectiveandimmortal。whateverthepartyholdstobethetruth，istruth。itisimpossibletoseerealityexceptbylookingthroughtheeyesoftheparty。thatisthefactthatyouhavegottorelearn，winston。itneedsanactofself-destruction，aneffortofthewill。youmusthumbleyourselfbeforeyoucanbecomesane。”