188.英文正文（188）

thistimewinstonwasstartledintoself-forgetfulness。***

“youhere！”hesaid。

parsonsgavewinstonaglanceinwhichtherewasneitherinterestnorsurprise，butonlymisery。hebeganwalkingjerkilyupanddown，evidentlyunabletokeepstill。eachtimehestraightenedhispudgykneesitwasapparentthattheyweretrembling。hiseyeshadawide-open，staringlook，asthoughhecouldnotpreventhimselffromgazingatsomethinginthemiddledistance。

“whatareyouinfor？”saidwinston。

“thoughtcrime！”saidparsons，almostblubbering。thetoneofhisvoiceimpliedatonceacompleteadmissionofhisguiltandasortofincreduloushorrorthatsuchawordcouldbeappliedtohimself。hepausedoppositewinstonandbeganeagerlyappealingtohim：“youdon’tthinkthey’llshootme，doyou，oldchap？theydon’tshootyouifyouhaven’tactuallydoneanything—onlythoughts，whichyoucan’thelp？iknowtheygiveyouafairhearing。oh，itrustthemforthat！they’llknowmyrecord，won’tthey？youknowwhatkindofchapiwas。notabadchapinmyway。notbrainy，ofcourse，butkeen。itriedtodomybestfortheparty，didn’ti？i’llgetoffwithfiveyears，don’tyouthink？oreventenyears？achaplikemecouldmakehimselfprettyusefulinalabour-camp。theywouldn’tshootmeforgoingofftherailsjustonce？”

“areyouguilty？”saidwinston。

“ofcoursei’mguilty！”criedparsonswithaservileglanceatthetelescreen。“youdon’tthinkthepartywouldarrestaninnocentman，doyou？”hisfrog-likefacegrewcalmer，andeventookonaslightlysanctimoniousexpression。“thoughtcrimeisadreadfulthing，oldman，”hesaidsententiously。“it’sinsidious。itcangetholdofyouwithoutyourevenknowingit。doyouknowhowitgotholdofme？inmysleep！yes，that’safact。thereiwas，workingaway，tryingtodomybit—neverknewihadanybadstuffinmymindatall。andthenistartedtalkinginmysleep。doyouknowwhattheyheardmesaying？”