CHAPTER 39
Inthedarktheycameupthehillthroughthetimbertothenarrowpassatthetop.Theywereallloadedheavilyandtheyclimbedslowly.Thehorseshadloadstoo,packedoverthesaddles.
“Wecancutthemlooseifitisnecessary,”Pilarhadsaid.“Butwiththat,ifwecankeepit,wecanmakeanothercamp.”
“Andtherestoftheammunition?”RobertJordanhadaskedastheylashedthepacks.
“Inthosesaddlebags.”
RobertJordanfelttheweightofhisheavypack,thedraggingonhisneckfromthepullofhisjacketwithitspocketsfullofgrenades,theweightofhispistolagainsthisthigh,andthebulgingofhistrouserpocketswheretheclipsforthesubmachinegunwere.Inhismouthwasthetasteofthecoffee,inhisrighthandhecarriedthesubmachinegunandwithhislefthandhereachedandpulledupthecollarofhisjackettoeasethepullofthepackstraps.
“Inglés,”Pablosaidtohim,walkingclosebesidehiminthedark.
“What,man?”
“TheseIhavebroughtthinkthisistobesuccessfulbecauseIhavebroughtthem,”Pablosaid.“Donotsayanythingtodisillusionthem.”
“Good,”RobertJordansaid.“Butletusmakeitsuccessful.”
“Theyhavefivehorses,sabes?”Pablosaidcautiously.
“Good,”saidRobertJordan.“Wewillkeepallthehorsestogether.”
“Good,”saidPablo,andnothingmore.
Ididn’tthinkyouhadexperiencedanycompleteconversionontheroadtoTarsus,oldPablo,RobertJordanthought.No.Yourcomingbackwasmiracleenough.Idon’tthinktherewilleverbeanyproblemaboutcanonizingyou.
“WiththosefiveIwilldealwiththelowerpostaswellasSordowouldhave,”Pablosaid.“Iwillcutthewireandfallbackuponthebridgeasweconvened.”
Wewentoverthisalltenminutesago,RobertJordanthought.Iwonderwhythisnow—
“ThereisapossibilityofmakingittoGredos,”Pablosaid.“Truly,Ihavethoughtmuchofit.”
Ibelieveyou’vehadanotherflashinthelastfewminutes,RobertJordansaidtohimself.Youhavehadanotherrevelation.Butyou’renotgoingtoconvincemethatIaminvited.No,Pablo.Donotaskmetobelievetoomuch.
EversincePablohadcomeintothecaveandsaidhehadfivemenRobertJordanfeltincreasinglybetter.SeeingPabloagainhadbrokenthepatternoftragedyintowhichthewholeoperationhadseemedgroovedeversincethesnow,andsincePablohadbeenbackhefeltnotthathisluckhadturned,sincehedidnotbelieveinluck,butthatthewholethinghadturnedforthebetterandthatnowitwaspossible.Insteadofthesuretyoffailurehefeltconfidencerisinginhimasatirebeginstofillwithairfromaslowpump.Therewaslittledifferenceatfirst,althoughtherewasadefinitebeginning,aswhenthepumpstartsandtherubberofthetubecrawlsalittle,butitcamenowassteadilyasatiderisingorthesaprisinginatreeuntilhebegantofeelthefirstedgeofthatnegationofapprehensionthatoftenturnedintoactualhappinessbeforeaction.
Thiswasthegreatestgiftthathehad,thetalentthatfittedhimforwar;thatabilitynottoignorebuttodespisewhateverbadendingtherecouldbe.Thisqualitywasdestroyedbytoomuchresponsibilityforothersorthenecessityofundertakingsomethingillplannedorbadlyconceived.Forinsuchthingsthebadending,failure,couldnotbeignored.Itwasnotsimplyapossibilityofharmtoone’sself,whichcouldbeignored.Heknewhehimselfwasnothing,andheknewdeathwasnothing.Heknewthattruly,astrulyasheknewanything.Inthelastfewdayshehadlearnedthathehimself,withanotherperson,couldbeeverything.Butinsidehimselfheknewthatthiswastheexception.Thatwehavehad,hethought.InthatIhavebeenmostfortunate.Thatwasgiventome,perhaps,becauseIneveraskedforit.Thatcannotbetakenawaynorlost.Butthatisoveranddonewithnowonthismorningandwhatthereistodonowisourwork.
Andyou,hesaidtohimself,Iamgladtoseeyougettingalittlesomethingbackthatwasbadlymissingforatime.Butyouwereprettybadbackthere.Iwasashamedenoughofyou,thereforawhile.OnlyIwasyou.Therewasn’tanymetojudgeyou.Wewereallinbadshape.Youandmeandbothofus.Comeonnow.Quitthinkinglikeaschizophrenic.Oneatatime,now.You’reallrightagainnow.Butlisten,youmustnotthinkofthegirlalldayever.Youcandonothingnowtoprotectherexcepttokeepheroutofit,andthatyouaredoing.Thereareevidentlygoingtobeplentyofhorsesifyoucanbelievethesigns.Thebestthingyoucandoforheristodothejobwellandfastandgetout,andthinkingofherwillonlyhandicapyouinthis.Sodonotthinkofherever.
HavingthoughtthisouthewaiteduntilMariacameupwalkingwithPilarandRafaelandthehorses.
“Hi,guapa,”hesaidtoherinthedark,“howareyou?”
“Iamwell,Roberto,”shesaid.
“Don’tworryaboutanything,”hesaidtoherandshiftingtheguntohislefthandheputahandonhershoulder.
“Idonot,”shesaid.
“Itisallverywellorganized,”hetoldher.“Rafaelwillbewiththeewiththehorses.”
“Iwouldratherbewiththee.”
“Nay.Thehorsesiswherethouartmostuseful.”
“Good,”shesaid.“ThereIwillbe.”
Justthenoneofthehorseswhinniedandfromtheopenplacebelowtheopeningthroughtherocksahorseanswered,theneighrisingintoashrillsharplybrokenquaver.
RobertJordansawthebulkofthenewhorsesaheadinthedark.HepressedforwardandcameuptothemwithPablo.Themenwerestandingbytheirmounts.
“Salud,”RobertJordansaid.
“Salud,”theyansweredinthedark.Hecouldnotseetheirfaces.
“ThisistheIngléswhocomeswithus,”Pablosaid.“Thedynamiter.”
Noonesaidanythingtothat.Perhapstheynoddedinthedark.
“Letusgetgoing,Pablo,”onemansaid.“Soonwewillhavethedaylightonus.”
“Didyoubringanymoregrenades?”anotherasked.
“Plenty,”saidPablo.“Supplyyourselveswhenweleavetheanimals.”
“Thenletusgo,”anothersaid.“We’vebeenwaitingherehalfthenight.”
“Hola,Pilar,”anothersaidasthewomancameup.
“Quémematen,ifitisnotPepe,”Pilarsaidhuskily.“Howareyou,shepherd?”
“Good,”saidtheman.“Dentrodelagravedad.”
“Whatareyouriding?”Pilaraskedhim.
“ThegrayofPablo,”themansaid.“Itismuchhorse.”
“Comeon,”anothermansaid.“Letusgo.Thereisnogoodingossipinghere.”
“Howartthou,Elicio?”Pilarsaidtohimashemounted.
“HowwouldIbe?”hesaidrudely.“Comeon,woman,wehaveworktodo.”
Pablomountedthebigbayhorse.
“Keepthymouthsshutandfollowme,”hesaid.“Iwillleadyoutotheplacewherewewillleavethehorses.”