Chapter 32
THEFEASTOFBELSHAZZAR—ASEERTOTRANSLATE
SuchfeelingsasweregeneratedinCarriebythiswalkputherinanexceedinglyreceptivemoodforthepathoswhichfollowedintheplay.Theactorwhomtheyhadgonetoseehadachievedhispopularitybypresentingamellowtypeofcomedy,inwhichsufficientsorrowwasintroducedtolendcontrastandrelieftohumor.ForCarrie,aswewellknow,thestagehadagreatattraction.ShehadneverforgottenheronehistrionicachievementinChicago.Itdweltinhermindandoccupiedherconsciousnessduringmanylongafternoonsinwhichherrockingchairandherlatestnovelcontributedtheonlypleasuresofherstate.Nevercouldshewitnessaplaywithouthavingherownabilityvividlybroughttoconsciousness.Somescenesmadeherlongtobeapartofthem—togiveexpressiontothefeelingswhichshe,intheplaceofthecharacterrepresented,wouldfeel.Almostinvariablyshewouldcarrythevividimaginationsawaywithherandbroodoverthemthenextdayalone.Shelivedasmuchinthesethingsasintherealitieswhichmadeupherdailylife.
Itwasnotoftenthatshecametotheplaystirredtoherheart’scorebyactualities.To-dayalowsongoflonginghadbeensetsinginginherheartbythefinery,themerriment,thebeautyshehadseen.Oh,thesewomenwhohadpassedherby,hundredsandhundredsstrong,whowerethey.Whencecametherich,elegantdresses,theastonishinglycoloredbuttons,theknick-knacksofsilverandgold.Whereweretheselovelycreatureshoused.Amidwhateleganciesofcarvedfurniture,decoratedwalls,elaboratetapestriesdidtheymove.Whereweretheirrichapartments,loadedwithallthatmoneycouldprovide.Inwhatstableschampedthesesleek,nervoushorsesandrestedthegorgeouscarriages.Whereloungedtherichlygroomedfootmen.Oh,themansions,thelights,theperfume,theloadedboudoirsandtables!NewYorkmustbefilledwithsuchbowers,orthebeautiful,insolent,superciliouscreaturescouldnotbe.Somehothousesheldthem.Itachedhertoknowthatshewasnotoneofthem—that,alas,shehaddreamedadreamandithadnotcometrue.Shewonderedatherownsolitudethesetwoyearspast—herindifferencetothefactthatshehadneverachievedwhatshehadexpected.
Theplaywasoneofthosedrawing-roomconcoctionsinwhichcharminglyoverdressedladiesandgentlemensufferthepangsofloveandjealousyamidgildedsurroundings.Suchbon-motsareeverenticingtothosewhohavealltheirdayslongedforsuchmaterialsurroundingsandhaveneverhadthemgratified.Theyhavethecharmofshowingsufferingunderidealconditions.Whowouldnotgrieveuponagildedchair.Whowouldnotsufferamidperfumedtapestries,cushionedfurniture,andliveriedservants.Griefundersuchcircumstancesbecomesanenticingthing.Carrielongedtobeofit.Shewantedtotakehersufferings,whatevertheywere,insuchaworld,orfailingthat,atleasttosimulatethemundersuchcharmingconditionsuponthestage.Soaffectedwashermindbywhatshehadseen,thattheplaynowseemedanextraordinarilybeautifulthing.Shewassoonlostintheworlditrepresented,andwishedthatshemightneverreturn.Betweentheactsshestudiedthegalaxyofmatineeattendantsinfrontrowsandboxes,andconceivedanewideaofthepossibilitiesofNewYork.Shewassureshehadnotseenitall—thatthecitywasonewhirlofpleasureanddelight.
Goingout,thesameBroadwaytaughtherasharperlesson.Thesceneshehadwitnessedcomingdownwasnowaugmentedandatitsheight.Suchacrushoffineryandfollyshehadneverseen.Itclinchedherconvictionsconcerningherstate.Shehadnotlived,couldnotlayclaimtohavinglived,untilsomethingofthishadcomeintoherownlife.Womenwerespendingmoneylikewater;shecouldseethatineveryelegantshopshepassed.Flowers,candy,jewelry,seemedtheprincipalthingsinwhichtheelegantdameswereinterested.Andshe—shehadscarcelyenoughpinmoneytoindulgeinsuchoutingsasthisafewtimesamonth.
Thatnighttheprettylittleflatseemedacommonplacething.Itwasnotwhattherestoftheworldwasenjoying.Shesawtheservantworkingatdinnerwithanindifferenteye.Inhermindwererunningscenesoftheplay.Particularlysherememberedonebeautifulactress—thesweetheartwhohadbeenwooedandwon.ThegraceofthiswomanhadwonCarrie’sheart.Herdresseshadbeenallthatartcouldsuggest,hersufferingshadbeensoreal.TheanguishwhichshehadportrayedCarriecouldfeel.Itwasdoneasshewassureshecoulddoit.Therewereplacesinwhichshecouldevendobetter.Hencesherepeatedthelinestoherself.Oh,ifshecouldonlyhavesuchapart,howbroadwouldbeherlife!She,too,couldactappealingly.
WhenHurstwoodcame,Carriewasmoody.Shewassitting,rockingandthinking,anddidnotcaretohaveherenticingimaginationsbrokeninupon;soshesaidlittleornothing.
“What’sthematter,Carrie.”saidHurstwoodafteratime,noticingherquiet,almostmoodystate.
“Nothing,”saidCarrie.“Idon’tfeelverywelltonight.”
“Notsick,areyou.”heasked,approachingveryclose.
“Oh,no,”shesaid,almostpettishly,“Ijustdon’tfeelverygood.”
“That’stoobad,”hesaid,steppingawayandadjustinghisvestafterhisslightbendingover.“Iwasthinkingwemightgotoashowto-night.”
“Idon’twanttogo,”saidCarrie,annoyedthatherfinevisionsshouldhavethusbeenbrokenintoanddrivenoutofhermind.“I’vebeentothematineethisafternoon.”
“Oh,youhave.”saidHurstwood.“Whatwasit.”
“AGoldMine.”
“Howwasit.”
“Prettygood,”saidCarrie.
“Andyoudon’twanttogoagaintonight.”
“Idon’tthinkIdo,”shesaid.
Nevertheless,wakenedoutofhermelancholiaandcalledtothedinnertable,shechangedhermind.Alittlefoodinthestomachdoeswonders.Shewentagain,andinsodoingtemporarilyrecoveredherequanimity.Thegreatawakeningblowhad,however,beendelivered.Asoftenasshemightrecoverfromthesediscontentedthoughtsnow,theywouldoccuragain.Timeandrepetition—ah,thewonderofit!Thedroppingwaterandthesolidstone—howutterlyityieldsatlast!
Notlongafterthismatineeexperience—perhapsamonth—Mrs.VanceinvitedCarrietoaneveningatthetheatrewiththem.SheheardCarriesaythatHurstwoodwasnotcominghometodinner.
“Whydon’tyoucomewithus.Don’tgetdinnerforyourself.We’regoingdowntoSherry’sfordinnerandthenovertotheLyceum.Comealongwithus.”
“IthinkIwill,”answeredCarrie.
Shebegantodressatthreeo’clockforherdepartureathalfpastfiveforthenoteddining-roomwhichwasthencrowdingDelmonico’sforpositioninsociety.
InthisdressingCarrieshowedtheinfluenceofherassociationwiththedashingMrs.Vance.Shehadconstantlyhadherattentioncalledbythelattertonoveltiesineverythingwhichpertainstoawoman’sapparel.
“Areyougoingtogetsuchandsuchahat.”or,“Haveyouseenthenewgloveswiththeovalpearlbuttons.”werebutsamplephrasesoutofalargeselection.
“Thenexttimeyougetapairofshoes,dearie,”saidMrs.Vance,“getbutton,withthicksolesandpatent-leathertips.They’realltheragethisfall.”
“Iwill,”saidCarrie.
“Oh,dear,haveyouseenthenewshirtwaistsatAltman’s.Theyhavesomeoftheloveliestpatterns.IsawonetherethatIknowwouldlookstunningonyou.IsaidsowhenIsawit.”
Carrielistenedtothesethingswithconsiderableinterest,fortheyweresuggestedwithmoreoffriendlinessthanisusuallycommonbetweenprettywomen.Mrs.VancelikedCarrie’sstablegood-naturesowellthatshereallytookpleasureinsuggestingtoherthelatestthings.
“Whydon’tyougetyourselfoneofthosenicesergeskirtsthey’resellingatLord&Taylor’s.”shesaidoneday.“They’rethecircularstyle,andthey’regoingtobewornfromnowon.Adarkblueonewouldlooksoniceonyou.”
Carrielistenedwitheagerears.ThesethingsnevercameupbetweenherandHurstwood.Nevertheless,shebegantosuggestonethingandanother,whichHurstwoodagreedtowithoutanyexpressionofopinion.HenoticedthenewtendencyonCarrie’spart,andfinally,hearingmuchofMrs.Vanceandherdelightfulways,suspectedwhencethechangecame.Hewasnotinclinedtooffertheslightestobjectionsosoon,buthefeltthatCarrie’swantswereexpanding.Thisdidnotappealtohimexactly,buthecaredforherinhisownway,andsothethingstood.Still,therewassomethinginthedetailsofthetransactionswhichcausedCarrietofeelthatherrequestswerenotadelighttohim.Hedidnotenthuseoverthepurchases.Thisledhertobelievethatneglectwascreepingin,andsoanothersmallwedgewasentered.
Nevertheless,oneoftheresultsofMrs.Vance’ssuggestionswasthefactthatonthisoccasionCarriewasdressedsomewhattoherownsatisfaction.Shehadonherbest,buttherewascomfortinthethoughtthatifshemustconfineherselftoabest,itwasneatandfitting.Shelookedthewell-groomedwomanoftwenty-one,andMrs.Vancepraisedher,whichbroughtcolortoherplumpcheeksandanoticeablebrightnessintoherlargeeyes.Itwasthreateningrain,andMr.Vance,athiswife’srequest,hadcalledacoach.“Yourhusbandisn’tcoming.”suggestedMr.Vance,ashemetCarrieinhislittleparlor.
“No;hesaidhewouldn’tbehomefordinner.”
“Betterleavealittlenoteforhim,tellinghimwhereweare.Hemightturnup.”
“Iwill,”saidCarrie,whohadnotthoughtofitbefore.
“Tellhimwe’llbeatSherry’suntileighto’clock.Heknows,thoughIguess.”
Carriecrossedthehallwithrustlingskirts,andscrawledthenote,gloveson.WhenshereturnedanewcomerwasintheVanceflat.
“Mrs.Wheeler,letmeintroduceMr.Ames,acousinofmine,”saidMrs.Vance.“He’sgoingalongwithus,aren’tyou,Bob.”
“I’mverygladtomeetyou,”saidAmes,bowingpolitelytoCarrie.
Thelattercaughtinaglancethedimensionsofaverystalwartfigure.Shealsonoticedthathewassmooth-shaven,goodlooking,andyoung,butnothingmore.
“Mr.AmesisjustdowninNewYorkforafewdays,”putinVance,“andwe’retryingtoshowhimaroundalittle.”
“Oh,areyou.”saidCarrie,takinganotherglanceatthenewcomer.
“Yes;IamjustonherefromIndianapolisforaweekorso,”saidyoungAmes,seatinghimselfontheedgeofachairtowaitwhileMrs.Vancecompletedthelasttouchesofhertoilet.
“IguessyoufindNewYorkquiteathingtosee,don’tyou.”saidCarrie,venturingsomethingtoavoidapossibledeadlysilence.
“Itisratherlargetogetaroundinaweek,”answeredAmes,pleasantly.
Hewasanexceedinglygenialsoul,thisyoungman,andwhollyfreeofaffectation.ItseemedtoCarriehewasasyetonlyovercomingthelasttracesofthebashfulnessofyouth.Hedidnotseemaptatconversation,buthehadthemeritofbeingwelldressedandwhollycourageous.Carriefeltasifitwerenotgoingtobehardtotalktohim.
“Well,Iguesswe’rereadynow.Thecoachisoutside.”
“Comeon,people,”saidMrs.Vance,cominginsmiling.“Bob,you’llhavetolookafterMrs.Wheeler.”
“I’lltryto,”saidBobsmiling,andedgingclosertoCarrie.“Youwon’tneedmuchwatching,willyou.”hevolunteered,inasortofingratiatingandhelp-me-outkindofway.
“Notvery,Ihope,”saidCarrie.
Theydescendedthestairs,Mrs.Vanceofferingsuggestions,andclimbedintotheopencoach.
“Allright,”saidVance,slammingthecoachdoor,andtheconveyancerolledaway.
“Whatisitwe’regoingtosee.”askedAmes.
“Sothern,”saidVance,“in‘LordChumley.’”
“Oh,heissogood!”saidMrs.Vance.“He’sjustthefunniestman.”
“Inoticethepaperspraiseit,”saidAmes.
“Ihaven’tanydoubt,”putinVance,“butwe’llallenjoyitverymuch.”
AmeshadtakenaseatbesideCarrie,andaccordinglyhefeltithisboundendutytopayhersomeattention.Hewasinterestedtofindhersoyoungawife,andsopretty,thoughitwasonlyarespectfulinterest.Therewasnothingofthedashinglady’smanabouthim.Hehadrespectforthemarriedstate,andthoughtonlyofsomeprettymarriageablegirlsinIndianapolis.
“AreyouabornNewYorker.”askedAmesofCarrie.
“Oh,no;I’veonlybeenherefortwoyears.”
“Oh,well,you’vehadtimetoseeagreatdealofit,anyhow.”
“Idon’tseemtohave,”answeredCarrie.“It’saboutasstrangetomeaswhenIfirstcamehere.”
“You’renotfromtheWest,areyou.”
“Yes.I’mfromWisconsin,”sheanswered.
“Well,itdoesseemasifmostpeopleinthistownhaven’tbeenheresoverylong.IhearoflotsofIndianapeopleinmylinewhoarehere.”
“Whatisyourline.”askedCarrie.
“I’mconnectedwithanelectricalcompany,”saidtheyouth.
CarriefollowedupthisdesultoryconversationwithoccasionalinterruptionsfromtheVances.Severaltimesitbecamegeneralandpartiallyhumorous,andinthatmannertherestaurantwasreached.
Carriehadnoticedtheappearanceofgayetyandpleasure-seekinginthestreetswhichtheywerefollowing.Coacheswerenumerous,pedestriansmany,andinFifty-ninthStreetthestreetcarswerecrowded.AtFifty-ninthStreetandFifthAvenueablazeoflightsfromseveralnewhotelswhichborderedthePlazaSquaregaveasuggestionofsumptuoushotellife.FifthAvenue,thehomeofthewealthy,wasnoticeablycrowdedwithcarriages,andgentlemeninevening
dress.AtSherry’sanimposingdoormanopenedthecoachdoorandhelpedthemout.YoungAmesheldCarrie’selbowashehelpedherupthesteps.Theyenteredthelobbyalreadyswarmingwithpatrons,andthen,afterdivestingthemselvesoftheirwraps,wentintoasumptuousdining-room.
InallCarrie’sexperienceshehadneverseenanythinglikethis.InthewholetimeshehadbeeninNewYorkHurstwood’smodifiedstatehadnotpermittedhisbringinghertosuchaplace.Therewasanalmostindescribableatmosphereaboutitwhichconvincedthenewcomerthatthiswastheproperthing.Herewastheplacewherethematterofexpenselimitedthepatronstothemoneyedorpleasure-lovingclass.Carriehadreadofitofteninthe“Morning”and“EveningWorld.”Shehadseennoticesofdances,parties,balls,andsuppersatSherry’s.TheMissesSo-and-sowouldgiveapartyonWednesdayeveningatSherry’s.YoungMr.So-and-Sowouldentertainapartyoffriendsataprivateluncheononthesixteenth,atSherry’s.Thecommonrunofconventional,perfunctorynoticesofthedoingsofsociety,whichshecouldscarcelyrefrainfromscanningeachday,hadgivenheradistinctideaofthegorgeousnessandluxuryofthiswonderfultempleofgastronomy.Now,atlast,shewasreallyinit.Shehadcomeuptheimposingsteps,guardedbythelargeandportlydoorman.Shehadseenthelobby,guardedbyanotherlargeandportlygentleman,andbeenwaiteduponbyuniformedyouthswhotookcareofcanes,overcoats,andthelike.Herewasthesplendiddining-chamber,alldecoratedandaglow,wherethewealthyate.Ah,howfortunatewasMrs.Vance;young,beautiful,andwelloff—atleast,sufficientlysotocomehereinacoach.Whatawonderfulthingitwastoberich.
Vanceledthewaythroughlanesofshiningtables,atwhichwereseatedpartiesoftwo,three,four,five,orsix.Theairofassuranceanddignityaboutitallwas
exceedinglynoticeabletothenovitiate.Incandescentlights,thereflectionoftheirglowinpolishedglasses,andtheshineofgiltuponthewalls,combinedintoonetoneoflightwhichitrequiresminutesofcomplacentobservationtoseparateandtakeparticularnoteof.Thewhiteshirtfrontsofthegentlemen,thebrightcostumesoftheladies,diamonds,jewels,finefeathers—allwereexceedinglynoticeable.
CarriewalkedwithanairequaltothatofMrs.Vance,andacceptedtheseatwhichtheheadwaiterprovidedforher.Shewaskeenlyawareofallthelittlethingsthatweredone—thelittlegenuflectionsandattentionsofthewaitersandheadwaiterwhichAmericanspayfor.Theairwithwhichthelatterpulledouteachchair,andthewaveofthehandwithwhichhemotionedthemtobeseated,wereworthseveraldollarsinthemselves.
Onceseated,therebeganthatexhibitionofshowy,wasteful,andunwholesomegastronomyaspracticedbywealthyAmericans,whichisthewonderandastonishmentoftruecultureanddignitytheworldover.Thelargebilloffareheldanarrayofdishessufficienttofeedanarmy,sidelinedwithpriceswhichmadereasonableexpenditurearidiculousimpossibility—anorderofsoupatfiftycentsoradollar,withadozenkindstochoosefrom;oystersinfortystylesandatsixtycentsthehalf-dozen;entrees,fish,andmeatsatpriceswhichwouldhouseoneovernightinanaveragehotel.Onedollarfiftyandtwodollarsseemedtobethemostcommonfiguresuponthismosttastefullyprintedbilloffare.
Carrienoticedthis,andinscanningitthepriceofspringchickencarriedherbacktothatotherbilloffareandfardifferentoccasionwhen,forthefirsttime,shesatwithDrouetinagoodrestaurantinChicago.Itwasonlymomentary—asadnoteasoutofanoldsong—andthenitwasgone.ButinthatflashwasseentheotherCarrie—poor,hungry,driftingather
wits’ends,andallChicagoacoldandclosedworld,fromwhichsheonlywanderedbecauseshecouldnotfindwork.
Onthewallsweredesignsincolor,squarespotsofrobin’s-eggblue,setinornateframesofgilt,whosecornerswereelaboratemoldingsoffruitandflowers,withfatcupidshoveringinangeliccomfort.Ontheceilingswerecoloredtracerieswithmoregilt,leadingtoacenterwherespreadaclusteroflights-incandescentglobesmingledwithglitteringprismsandstuccotendrilsofgilt.Thefloorwasofareddishhue,waxedandpolished,andineverydirectionweremirrors—tall,brilliant,bevel-edgedmirrors—reflectingandre-reflectingforms,faces,andcandelabraascoreandahundredtimes.
Thetableswerenotsoremarkableinthemselves,andyettheimprintofSherryuponthenapery,thenameofTiffanyuponthesilverware,thenameofHavilanduponthechina,andoveralltheglowofthesmall,red-shadedcandelabraandthereflectedtintsofthewallsongarmentsandfaces,madethemseemremarkable.Eachwaiteraddedanairofexclusivenessandelegancebythemannerinwhichhebowed,scraped,touched,andtrifledwiththings.Theexclusivelypersonalattentionwhichhedevotedtoeachone,standinghalfbent,eartooneside,elbowsakimbo,saying:“Soup—greenturtle,yes.Oneportion,yes.Oysters-certainly—half-dozen—yes.Asparagus.Olives—yes.”
Itwouldbethesamewitheachone,onlyVanceessayedtoorderforall,invitingcounselandsuggestions.Carriestudiedthecompanywithopeneyes.SothiswashighlifeinNewYork.Itwassothattherichspenttheirdaysandevenings.Herpoorlittlemindcouldnotriseaboveapplyingeachscenetoallsociety.EveryfineladymustbeinthecrowdonBroadwayintheafternoon,inthetheatreatthematinee,inthecoachesanddining-hallsatnight.It
mustbeglowandshineeverywhere,withcoacheswaiting,andfootmenattending,andshewasoutofitall.Intwolongyearsshehadneverevenbeeninsuchaplaceasthis.
Vancewasinhiselementhere,asHurstwoodwouldhavebeeninformerdays.Heorderedfreelyofsoup,oysters,roastmeats,andsidedishes,andhadseveralbottlesofwinebrought,whichweresetdownbesidethetableinawickerbasket.
AmeswaslookingawayratherabstractedlyatthecrowdandshowedaninterestingprofiletoCarrie.Hisforeheadwashigh,hisnoseratherlargeandstrong,hischinmoderatelypleasing.Hehadagood,wide,well-shapedmouth,andhisdark-brownhairwaspartedslightlyononeside.HeseemedtohavetheleasttouchofboyishnesstoCarrie,andyethewasamanfullgrown.
“Doyouknow,”hesaid,turningbacktoCarrie,afterhisreflection,“Isometimesthinkitisashameforpeopletospendsomuchmoneythisway.”
Carrielookedathimamomentwiththefaintesttouchofsurpriseathisseriousness.Heseemedtobethinkingaboutsomethingoverwhichshehadneverpondered.
“Doyou.”sheanswered,interestedly.
“Yes,”hesaid,“theypaysomuchmorethanthesethingsareworth.Theyputonsomuchshow.”
“Idon’tknowwhypeopleshouldn’tspendwhentheyhaveit,”saidMrs.Vance.
“Itdoesn’tdoanyharm,”saidVance,whowasstillstudyingthebilloffare,thoughhehadordered.
Ameswaslookingawayagain,andCarriewasagainlookingathisforehead.Toherheseemedtobethinkingaboutstrangethings.Ashestudiedthecrowdhiseyewasmild.
“Lookatthatwoman’sdressoverthere,”hesaid,againturningtoCarrie,andnoddinginadirection.
“Where.”saidCarrie,followinghiseyes.
“Overthereinthecorner—wayover.Doyouseethatbrooch.”
“Isn’titlarge.”saidCarrie.
“OneofthelargestclustersofjewelsIhaveeverseen,”saidAmes.
“Itis,isn’tit.”saidCarrie.Shefeltasifshewouldliketobeagreeabletothisyoungman,andalsotherecamewithit,orperhapsprecededit,theslightestshadeofafeelingthathewasbettereducatedthanshewas—thathismindwasbetter.Heseemedtolookit,andthesavinggraceinCarriewasthatshecouldunderstandthatpeoplecouldbewiser.Shehadseenanumberofpeopleinherlifewhoremindedherofwhatshehadvaguelycometothinkofasscholars.Thisstrongyoungmanbesideher,withhisclear,naturallook,seemedtogetaholdofthingswhichshedidnotquiteunderstand,butapprovedof.Itwasfinetobeso,asaman,shethought.
Theconversationchangedtoabookthatwashavingitsvogueatthetime—”MoldingaMaiden,”byAlbertRoss.Mrs.Vancehadreadit.Vancehadseenitdiscussedinsomeofthepapers.
“Amancanmakequiteastrikewritingabook,”saidVance.“InoticethisfellowRossisverymuchtalkedabout.”HewaslookingatCarrieashespoke.
“Ihadn’theardofhim,”saidCarrie,honestly.
“Oh,Ihave,”saidMrs.Vance.“He’swrittenlotsofthings.Thislaststoryisprettygood.”
“Hedoesn’tamounttomuch,”saidAmes.
Carrieturnedhereyestowardhimastoanoracle.
“Hisstuffisnearlyasbadas‘DoraThorne,’”concludedAmes.
Carriefeltthisasapersonalreproof.Sheread“DoraThorne,”orhadagreatdealinthepast.Itseemedonlyfairtoher,butshesupposedthatpeoplethoughtitveryfine.Nowthisclear-eyed,fine-headedyouth,wholookedsomethinglikeastudenttoher,madefunofit.Itwaspoortohim,notworthreading.She
lookeddown,andforthefirsttimefeltthepainofnotunderstanding.
YettherewasnothingsarcasticorsuperciliousinthewayAmesspoke.Hehadverylittleofthatinhim.Carriefeltthatitwasjustkindlythoughtofahighorder—therightthingtothink,andwonderedwhatelsewasright,accordingtohim.Heseemedtonoticethatshelistenedandrathersympathizedwithhim,andfromnowonhetalkedmostlytoher.
Asthewaiterbowedandscrapedabout,feltthedishestoseeiftheywerehotenough,broughtspoonsandforks,anddidallthoselittleattentivethingscalculatedtoimpresstheluxuryofthesituationuponthediner,AmesalsoleanedslightlytoonesideandtoldherofIndianapolisinanintelligentway.Hereallyhadaverybrightmind,whichwasfindingitschiefdevelopmentinelectricalknowledge.Hissympathiesforotherformsofinformation,however,andfortypesofpeople,werequickandwarm.Theredglowonhisheadgaveitasandytingeandputabrightglintinhiseye.Carrienoticedallthesethingsasheleanedtowardherandfeltexceedinglyyoung.Thismanwasfaraheadofher.HeseemedwiserthanHurstwood,sanerandbrighterthanDrouet.Heseemedinnocentandclean,andshethoughtthathewasexceedinglypleasant.Shenoticed,also,thathisinterestinherwasafar-offone.Shewasnotinhislife,noranyofthethingsthattouchedhislife,andyetnow,ashespokeofthesethings,theyappealedtoher.
“Ishouldn’tcaretoberich,”hetoldher,asthedinnerproceededandthesupplyoffoodwarmeduphissympathies;“notrichenoughtospendmymoneythisway.”
“Oh,wouldn’tyou.”saidCarrie,the,toher,newattitudeforcingitselfdistinctlyuponherforthefirsttime.
“No,”hesaid.“Whatgoodwoulditdo.Amandoesn’tneedthissortofthingtobehappy.”
Carriethoughtofthisdoubtfully;but,comingfromhim,ithadweightwithher.
“Heprobablycouldbehappy,”shethoughttoherself,“allalone.He’ssostrong.”
Mr.andMrs.Vancekeptuparunningfireofinterruptions,andtheseimpressivethingsbyAmescameatoddmoments.Theyweresufficient,however,fortheatmospherethatwentwiththisyouthimpresseditselfuponCarriewithoutwords.Therewassomethinginhim,ortheworldhemovedin,whichappealedtoher.Heremindedherofscenesshehadseenonthestage—thesorrowsandsacrificesthatalwayswentwithsheknewnotwhat.Hehadtakenawaysomeofthebitternessofthecontrastbetweenthislifeandherlife,andallbyacertaincalmindifferencewhichconcernedonlyhim.
Astheywentout,hetookherarmandhelpedherintothecoach,andthentheywereoffagain,andsototheshow.
DuringtheactsCarriefoundherselflisteningtohimveryattentively.Hementionedthingsintheplaywhichshemostapprovedof—thingswhichswayedherdeeply.
“Don’tyouthinkitratherfinetobeanactor.”sheaskedonce.
“Yes,Ido,”hesaid,“tobeagoodone.Ithinkthetheatreagreatthing.”
JustthislittleapprovalsetCarrie’sheartbounding.Ah,ifshecouldonlybeanactress—agoodone!Thismanwaswise—heknew—andheapprovedofit.Ifshewereafineactress,suchmenashewouldapproveofher.Shefeltthathewasgoodtospeakashehad,althoughitdidnotconcernheratall.Shedidnotknowwhyshefeltthisway.
Atthecloseoftheshowitsuddenlydevelopedthathewasnotgoingbackwiththem.
“Oh,aren’tyou.”saidCarrie,withanunwarrantablefeeling.
“Oh,no,”hesaid;“I’mstoppingrightaroundhereinThirty-thirdStreet.”
Carriecouldnotsayanythingelse,butsomehowthisdevelopmentshockedher.Shehadbeenregrettingthewaneofapleasantevening,butshehadthoughttherewasahalf-hourmore.Oh,thehalf-hours,theminutesoftheworld;whatmiseriesandgriefsarecrowdedintothem!
Shesaidgood-byewithfeignedindifference.Whatmattercoulditmake.Still,thecoachseemedlorn.
Whenshewentintoherownflatshehadthistothinkabout.Shedidnotknowwhethershewouldeverseethismananymore.Whatdifferencecoulditmake—whatdifferencecoulditmake.
Hurstwoodhadreturned,andwasalreadyinbed.Hisclotheswerescatteredlooselyabout.Carriecametothedoorandsawhim,thenretreated.Shedidnotwanttogoinyetawhile.Shewantedtothink.Itwasdisagreeabletoher.
Backinthedining-roomshesatinherchairandrocked.Herlittlehandswerefoldedtightlyasshethought.Throughafogoflongingandconflictingdesiresshewasbeginningtosee.Oh,yelegionsofhopeandpity—ofsorrowandpain!Shewasrocking,andbeginningtosee.