Chapter 117

PhiliphadwrittentoAthelnytotellhimthathewasdoingalocuminDorsetshireandinduecoursereceivedananswerfromhim.Itwaswrittenintheformalmannerheaffected,studdedwithpompousepithetsasaPersiandiademwasstuddedwithpreciousstones;andinthebeautifulhand,likeblackletterandasdifficulttoread,uponwhichhepridedhimself.HesuggestedthatPhilipshouldjoinhimandhisfamilyintheKentishhop-fieldtowhichhewenteveryyear;andtopersuadehimsaidvariousbeautifulandcomplicatedthingsaboutPhilip’ssoulandthewindingtendrilsofthehops.Philiprepliedatoncethathewouldcomeonthefirstdayhewasfree.Thoughnotbornthere,hehadapeculiaraffectionfortheIsleofThanet,andhewasfiredwithenthusiasmatthethoughtofspendingafortnightsoclosetotheearthandamidconditionswhichneededonlyablueskytobeasidyllicastheolivegrovesofArcady.

ThefourweeksofhisengagementatFarnleypassedquickly.Onthecliffanewtownwasspringingup,withredbrickvillasroundgolflinks,andalargehotelhadrecentlybeenopenedtocaterforthesummervisitors;butPhilipwentthereseldom.Downbelow,bytheharbour,thelittlestonehousesofapastcenturywereclusteredinadelightfulconfusion,andthenarrowstreets,climbingdownsteeply,hadanairofantiquitywhichappealedtotheimagination.Bythewater’sedgewereneatcottageswithtrim,tinygardensinfrontofthem;theywereinhabitedbyretiredcaptainsinthemerchantservice,andbymothersorwidowsofmenwhohadgainedtheirliving

bythesea;andtheyhadanappearancewhichwasquaintandpeaceful.InthelittleharbourcametrampsfromSpainandtheLevant,shipsofsmalltonnage;andnowandthenawindjammerwasborneinbythewindsofromance.ItremindedPhilipofthedirtylittleharbourwithitscolliersatBlackstable,andhethoughtthattherehehadfirstacquiredthedesire,whichwasnowanobsession,forEasternlandsandsunlitislandsinatropicsea.Buthereyoufeltyourselfclosertothewide,deepoceanthanontheshoreofthatNorthSeawhichseemedalwayscircumscribed;hereyoucoulddrawalongbreathasyoulookedoutupontheevenvastness;andthewestwind,thedearsoftsaltwindofEngland,upliftedtheheartandatthesametimemeltedittotenderness.

Oneevening,whenPhiliphadreachedhislastweekwithDoctorSouth,achildcametothesurgerydoorwhiletheolddoctorandPhilipweremakingupprescriptions.Itwasalittleraggedgirlwithadirtyfaceandbarefeet.Philipopenedthedoor.

“Please,sir,willyoucometoMrs.Fletcher’sinIvyLaneatonce?”

“What’sthematterwithMrs.Fletcher?”calledoutDoctorSouthinhisraspingvoice.

Thechildtooknonoticeofhim,butaddressedherselfagaintoPhilip.

“Please,sir,herlittleboy’shadanaccidentandwillyoucomeatonce?”

“TellMrs.FletcherI’mcoming,”calledoutDoctorSouth.

Thelittlegirlhesitatedforamoment,andputtingadirtyfingerinadirtymouthstoodstillandlookedatPhilip.

“What’sthematter,Kid?”saidPhilip,smiling.

“Please,sir,Mrs.Fletchersays,willthenewdoctorcome?”TherewasasoundinthedispensaryandDoctorSouthcameoutintothepassage.

“Isn’tMrs.Fletchersatisfiedwithme?”hebarked.

“I’veattendedMrs.Fletchersinceshewasborn.Whyaren’tIgoodenoughtoattendherfilthybrat?”

Thelittlegirllookedforamomentasthoughsheweregoingtocry,thenshethoughtbetterofit;sheputouthertonguedeliberatelyatDoctorSouth,and,beforehecouldrecoverfromhisastonishment,boltedoffasfastasshecouldrun.Philipsawthattheoldgentlemanwasannoyed.

“Youlookratherfagged,andit’sagoodishwaytoIvyLane,”hesaid,bywayofgivinghimanexcusenottogohimself.

DoctorSouthgavealowsnarl.

“It’sadamnedsightnearerforamanwho’sgottheuseofbothlegsthanforamanwho’sonlygotoneandahalf.”

Philipreddenedandstoodsilentforawhile.

“Doyouwishmetogoorwillyougoyourself?”hesaidatlastfrigidly.

“What’sthegoodofmygoing?Theywantyou.”

Philiptookuphishatandwenttoseethepatient.Itwasharduponeighto’clockwhenhecameback.DoctorSouthwasstandinginthedining-roomwithhisbacktothefireplace.

“You’vebeenalongtime,”hesaid.

“I’msorry.Whydidn’tyoustartdinner?”

“BecauseIchosetowait.HaveyoubeenallthiswhileatMrs.Fletcher’s?”

“No,I’mafraidIhaven’t.Istoppedtolookatthesunsetonmywayback,andIdidn’tthinkofthetime.”

DoctorSouthdidnotreply,andtheservantbroughtinsomegrilledsprats.Philipatethemwithanexcellentappetite.SuddenlyDoctorSouthshotaquestionathim.

“Whydidyoulookatthesunset?”

Philipansweredwithhismouthfull.

“BecauseIwashappy.”

DoctorSouthgavehimanoddlook,andtheshadow

ofasmileflickeredacrosshisold,tiredface.Theyatetherestofthedinnerinsilence;butwhenthemaidhadgiventhemtheportandlefttheroom,theoldmanleanedbackandfixedhissharpeyesonPhilip.

“ItstungyouupabitwhenIspokeofyourgameleg,youngfellow?”hesaid.

“Peoplealwaysdo,directlyorindirectly,whentheygetangrywithme.”

“Isupposetheyknowit’syourweakpoint.”

Philipfacedhimandlookedathimsteadily.

“Areyouverygladtohavediscoveredit?”

Thedoctordidnotanswer,buthegaveachuckleofbittermirth.Theysatforawhilestaringatoneanother.ThenDoctorSouthsurprisedPhilipextremely.

“Whydon’tyoustayhereandI’llgetridofthatdamnedfoolwithhismumps?”

“It’sverykindofyou,butIhopetogetanappointmentatthehospitalintheautumn.It’llhelpmesomuchingettingotherworklater.”

“I’mofferingyouapartnership,”saidDoctorSouthgrumpily.

“Why?”askedPhilip,withsurprise.

“Theyseemtolikeyoudownhere.”

“Ididn’tthinkthatwasafactwhichaltogethermetwithyourapproval,”Philipsaiddrily.

“D’yousupposethatafterfortyyears’practiceIcareatwopennydamnwhetherpeopleprefermyassistanttome?No,myfriend.There’snosentimentbetweenmypatientsandme.Idon’texpectgratitudefromthem,Iexpectthemtopaymyfees.Well,whatd’yousaytoit?”

Philipmadenoreply,notbecausehewasthinkingovertheproposal,butbecausehewasastonished.Itwasevidentlyveryunusualforsomeonetoofferapartnershiptoanewlyqualifiedman;andherealisedwithwonderthat,althoughnothingwouldinducehimtosayso,DoctorSouthhadtakenafancytohim.HethoughthowamusedthesecretaryatSt.Luke’swouldbewhenhetoldhim.

“Thepracticebringsinaboutsevenhundredayear.Wecanreckonouthowmuchyoursharewouldbeworth,andyoucanpaymeoffbydegrees.AndwhenIdieyoucansucceedme.Ithinkthat’sbetterthanknockingabouthospitalsfortwoorthreeyears,andthentakingassistantshipsuntilyoucanaffordtosetupforyourself.”

Philipknewitwasachancethatmostpeopleinhisprofessionwouldjumpat;theprofessionwasover-crowded,andhalfthemenheknewwouldbethankfultoacceptthecertaintyofevensomodestacompetenceasthat.

“I’mawfullysorry,butIcan’t,”hesaid.“ItmeansgivingupeverythingI’veaimedatforyears.InonewayandanotherI’vehadaroughishtime,butIalwayshadthatonehopebeforeme,togetqualifiedsothatImighttravel;andnow,whenIwakeinthemorning,mybonessimplyachetogetoff,Idon’tmindwhereparticularly,butjustaway,toplacesI’veneverbeento.”

Nowthegoalseemedverynear.HewouldhavefinishedhisappointmentatSt.Luke’sbythemiddleofthefollowingyear,andthenhewouldgotoSpain;hecouldaffordtospendseveralmonthsthere,ramblingupanddownthelandwhichstoodtohimforromance;afterthathewouldgetashipandgototheEast.Lifewasbeforehimandtimeofnoaccount.Hecouldwander,foryearsifhechose,inunfrequentedplaces,amidstrangepeoples,wherelifewasledinstrangeways.Hedidnotknowwhathesoughtorwhathisjourneyswouldbringhim;buthehadafeelingthathewouldlearnsomethingnewaboutlifeandgainsomecluetothemysterythathehadsolvedonlytofindmoremysterious.Andevenifhefoundnothinghewouldallaytheunrestwhichgnawedathisheart.ButDoctorSouthwasshowinghimagreatkindness,anditseemedungratefultorefusehisofferfornoadequatereason;soinhisshyway,tryingtoappearasmatteroffactaspossible,hemadesomeattempttoexplainwhyitwassoimportanttohimtocarryouttheplanshehadcherishedsopassionately.

DoctorSouthlistenedquietly,andagentlelookcameintohisshrewdoldeyes.ItseemedtoPhilipanaddedkindnessthathedidnotpresshimtoaccepthisoffer.Benevolenceisoftenveryperemptory.HeappearedtolookuponPhilip’sreasonsassound.Droppingthesubject,hebegantotalkofhisownyouth;hehadbeenintheRoyalNavy,anditwashislongconnectionwiththeseathat,whenheretired,hadmadehimsettleatFarnley.HetoldPhilipofolddaysinthePacificandofwildadventuresinChina.Hehadtakenpartinanexpeditionagainstthehead-huntersofBorneoandhadknownSamoawhenitwasstillanindependentstate.Hehadtouchedatcoralislands.Philiplistenedtohimentranced.LittlebylittlehetoldPhilipabouthimself.DoctorSouthwasawidower,hiswifehaddiedthirtyyearsbefore,andhisdaughterhadmarriedafarmerinRhodesia;hehadquarrelledwithhim,andshehadnotcometoEnglandfortenyears.Itwasjustasifhehadneverhadwifeorchild.Hewasverylonely.Hisgruffnesswaslittlemorethanaprotectionwhichheworetohideacompletedisillusionment;andtoPhilipitseemedtragictoseehimjustwaitingfordeath,notimpatiently,butratherwithloathingforit,hatingoldageandunabletoresignhimselftoitslimitations,andyetwiththefeelingthatdeathwastheonlysolutionofthebitternessofhislife.Philipcrossedhispath,andthenaturalaffectionwhichlongseparationfromhisdaughterhadkilled—shehadtakenherhusband’spartinthequarrelandherchildrenhehadneverseen—settleditselfuponPhilip.Atfirstitmadehimangry,hetoldhimselfitwasasignofdotage;buttherewassomethinginPhilipthatattractedhim,andhefoundhimselfsmilingathimheknewnotwhy.Philipdidnotborehim.Onceortwiceheputhishandonhisshoulder:itwasasnearacaressashehadgotsincehisdaughterleftEnglandsomanyyearsbefore.WhenthetimecameforPhiliptogoDoctorSouthaccompaniedhimtothestation:hefoundhimselfunaccountablydepressed.

“I’vehadarippingtimehere,”saidPhilip.“You’vebeenawfullykindtome.”

“Isupposeyou’reverygladtogo?”

“I’veenjoyedmyselfhere.”

“Butyouwanttogetoutintotheworld?Ah,youhaveyouth.”Hehesitatedamoment.“Iwantyoutorememberthatifyouchangeyourmindmyofferstillstands.”

“That’sawfullykindofyou.”

Philipshookhandswithhimoutofthecarriagewindow,andthetrainsteamedoutofthestation.Philipthoughtofthefortnighthewasgoingtospendinthehop-field:hewashappyattheideaofseeinghisfriendsagain,andherejoicedbecausethedaywasfine.ButDoctorSouthwalkedslowlybacktohisemptyhouse.Hefeltveryoldandverylonely.