The Dean Of Faculty

1796

TheDeanOfFaculty

ANewBallad

Tune—“TheDragonofWantley.”

DirewasthehateatoldHarlaw,

ThatScottoScotdidcarry;

AnddirethediscordLangsidesaw

Forbeauteous,haplessMary:

ButScottoScotne'ermetsohot,

Orweremoreinfuryseen,Sir,

Than'twixtHalandBobforthefamousjob,

WhoshouldbetheFaculty'sDean,Sir.

ThisHalforgenius,witandlore,

Amongthefirstwasnumber'd;

ButpiousBob,'midlearning'sstore,

Commandmentthetenthremember'd:

YetsimpleBobthevictorygot,

Andwanhisheart'sdesire,

Whichshewsthatheavencanboilthepot,

Tho'thedevilpissinthefire.

SquireHal,besides,hadinthiscase

Pretensionsratherbrassy;

Fortalents,todeserveaplace,

Arequalificationssaucy.

SotheirworshipsoftheFaculty,

Quitesickofmerit'srudeness,

Choseonewhoshouldoweitall,d'yesee,

Totheirgratisgraceandgoodness.

AsonceonPisgahpurg'dwasthesight

OfasonofCircumcision,

Somaybe,onthisPisgahheight,

Bob'spurblindmentalvision—

Nay,Bobby'smouthmaybeopenedyet,

Tillforeloquenceyouhailhim,

Andswearthathehastheangelmet

ThatmettheassofBalaam.

Inyourhereticsinsmayyouliveanddie,

YehereticEight-and-Tairty!

Butaccept,yesublimeMajority,

Mycongratulationshearty.

Withyourhonours,aswithacertainking,

Inyourservantsthisisstriking,

Themoreincapacitytheybring,

Themorethey'retoyourliking.